Reading some friend and family member blogs, I realized that there is no better way to avoid homework than keeping up with a blog. Hey, maybe someday I'll even look back and read this! Who knows, but either way, here goes.
I had to start this blog for a class assignment last semester (yes, it's true. This major is way different than my undergrad career...nice change!). But I figured that it would be cool to keep friends and family up to date on my life, since I have hardly any time to keep up with phone calls, e-mails, and the like. Sometimes, it feels like the only time I have to myself is the time that I sleep! (and even that is sometimes interrupted by someone else).
A lot has been going on lately. I just returned from Marco Island, Florida, where I spent my Spring Break (not wild, not even close) with Katy. It was absolutely gorgeous, relaxing, warm, sunny, wonderful...the list goes on and on. It was nice to be somewhere where I didn't have to check my e-mail every 5 minutes for the latest assignment or grade posting...somewhere where I was almost inaccessible by phone...what a nice chance to breathe and think about how things have changed since this time last year.
This time last year...my beloved grandma Lou had just passed away, and my papa jer was losing his battle with melanoma. I wouldn't return to that time in my life if I could...I hated seeing the ones I loved in so much pain and with so much heartache. I know they are in a happier place and are no longer in pain, but I miss them so much each and every day.
Graduating from OSU, moving home and starting grad school at Xavier was more of a transition than I had bargained for. Not only is the workload and the pace of the education different, but the philosophy of the programs and the teachers are in utter contrast to one another. Political science: intense, very factual, and very serious. Education: still intense, but more creative and upbeat. I love both programs, but am glad I chose to go into education. Who would have thought that my plan to go to law school would change so drastically- and so quickly- into special education? All thanks to one girl and her family...Sara...my life plan was changed forever. I think about Sara every day and miss her...we developed such a good relationship and I wish her only the best. Speaking of her..I will write her a card right now!
My job now, as a Hamilton County respite provider is a little more challenging than my similar job in Columbus (with Sara). Kristen, my 17 year old (well, not mine, but you get the idea) is very difficult to manage at times. And by "at times," I mean "most of the time." Sometimes she is an absolute joy to be with- funny, witty and very loving. At other times, she is transformed into something that I hardly recognize- screaming, hitting and hateful. I don't think that she genuinely understands the effects her behavior has on her family and everyone around her- I understand that her disabilities prohibit her from developing those kind of understandings and that level of comprehension. However, that is one of the hardest parts of this job- separating emotion from fact. Sometimes I am so angry at her for acting the way she does- it is infuriating and frustrating (and sometimes physically painful), and it is very hard to accept the fact that she cannot always help it. Yes, some of her horrible behavior is learned and she does know what she is doing- some attention seeking behaviors, for example. But some of her behavior and her actions are out of her control- her brain developed differently than mine, so I have no way of understanding why she acts the way she does. That fact makes it no less frustrating, but sometimes easier to accept. I love Kristen, and feel very protective of her...but still grow weary of her very quickly. My empathy for her family and what they must go through 24 hours a day sometimes supercedes my needs- I commit to helping them more often than I am able with homework and my other boy, Will. It is frustrating, but I know their intentions are good and they just want what is best for their daughter. As much as I love this job, it is trying and very difficult at times, and tests my patience to the utmost degree.
I also provide respite for Will, a 6 year old boy who is bright, engaging, funny and very loving. I don't see him as often, as his My Plan only provides for 5 hours a week at the most. However, recently I feel like we have developed a closer relationship and he lights up my day when I see him. When I pick him up from school, he runs out and gives me a hug (a big deal!) and the smile on his face is priceless. He always jokes with me "You try!" because that is "our thing" that we throw at each other when we are working on something together. Now it is a joke and it makes him smile his sweet, sly little smile because he knows he is cuter than a button. I love the rest of his family, although I do not know his father or older sister as well (I am usually there during work and school hours), but I genuinely feel comfortable and at-home with this family. I am so thrilled to meet their newest member, Eli, who was adopted from China just last week! What a beautiful addition and wonderful change to this family! Will's experiences has opened my eyes to the world of ABA, Applied Behavioral Analysis, a scientific teaching method that works very well with children with Autism. I have observed at his school a handful of times, and became fascinated by the experience. I believe there is nothing more rewarding than seeing a child make a step- even a small step- in the right direction in terms of success. That is what I most look forward to as being a teacher =]
I start my job at Cabana on the River in April. A challenging and frustrating job (as all waitress jobs are, I am sure..) but I make good money and have wonderful friends down there (more like family.) It is only open in the summer, which has worked well in the past with my schedule. But this summer- with class (short summer classes=SO MUCH WORK,) Kristen, Will and Cabana- I don't know when I will have time to breathe! It will work out...I have to keep telling myself that. And my primary responsibility is school...my degree cannot take a backseat (for the sake of my sanity and my wallet!)
Enough blabbing for today...going on a walk down at Fernbank with Amy to take a study break and to see the flooding. Can't believe the river is up so high! Prayers and thoughts to those affected by the weather around the world...Japan, California, Hawaii, and the entire Pacific Coast.
More later! Happy Selection Sunday! (GO BUCKS!)
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